The wrong way to handle an upset customer is to make excuses. Consider the Embassy Suites hotel approach. The dinner was late, the food was a disappointment, and the bowl of chowder arrived without a soup spoon.

The manager listened carefully to each one of the complaints, then said all the right things: “You’re right. I understand your disappointment. You deserve a better experience and I’m sorry to have let you down.”

He pledged to find out who was responsible and to correct the problem. He credited the account for the unsatisfactory meal and a complimentary meal for the following night. Finally, he thanked the guest for complaining.

Hudson Valley organizations can practice “The Embassy Suites Way,” by treating complaints as “extraordinary opportunities to serve.” Their employees are instructed to follow a four-part program when a guest reports a problem. It’s called “Take the H-E-A-T.”

Hear them out. Listen and let the customer get it all off their chest. Repeat what he’s told you, and then ask, “Did I correctly understand what you said and how you felt?”

Empathize. Go beyond listening and give feedback, such as, “I can understand why you feel upset, and I don’t blame you.”

Act. Do whatever it takes to turn the complainer into a satisfied customer and that starts with a sincere apology.

Take responsibility. Avoid passing the buck. When you take the “heat,” you’ll be surprised at how quickly the customer cools off, and how often he’ll come back to your business in a buying mood.

The complainer thinks of himself as being on one side of an argument, and you on the other. Say something like, “I understand that you want service that’s so good you’ll want to continue to do business with us. We want to keep you as a satisfied customer. We’re both after the same thing, let’s work together.”

Ask what he wants: “You may already have a good solution in mind, so please tell me what you’d like me to do?” Then do it!

In some cases you’ll give out refunds for complaints that aren’t your fault. Making a customer trust you enough to keep buying is an excellent investment in that relationship. It’s also much cheaper than finding a new customer.

Eight of ten complaints are honest. Assume that it costs $35 to check out each complaint on a $100 sale item. Spending $350 to check out ten complaints to save $200 on two fraudulent ones is bad business. You loose $150 and the investigative delays will further annoy the eight honest customers.

Finally, take one more step. After you’ve spent the time and money to fix the problem, follow up with a phone call to make sure that the customer is happy with the way things worked out. This extra icing on the cake can turn a former complainer into a fanatically loyal customer.

Successful Hudson Valley companies don’t just handle complaints, they surprise the customer by delivering more than expected. Your goal is not to get the customer to go away happy, but to get him to come back again and again.

If you enjoyed this column you’ll love our Books (click here) and Training Programs (click here). Each is filled with hundreds of leading edge profit enhancing ideas from the best business thinkers in the world. This is one of over 300 columns published and part of the reason why The Wall Street Journal and The New York Times have called The DreamSpeaker™ about Business Planning Issues.