A national poll of U.S. workers found that in one high-tech firm, the top code writers outperform the bottom by a factor of 10 to one. This is common and yet lower performers often make about the same amount of money. What do these issues cost in morale and lost productivity?

These performance gaps can be reduced, but only when leaders and co-workers learn how to confront and hold people accountable.

What do you do when someone disappoints you? Some people respond in anger and they cut people off, overstate arguments and attack ideas. They often employ harsh debating tactics, and sometimes resort to insults and threats. Other people react with stone-cold silence. They drop hints, change the subject, or say nothing rather than speak directly about the problem. A nurse who has learned never to question a doctor’s judgment decides not to second-guess him when he amputates the wrong limb!

What sets the best leaders in the workplace apart from other people? They wield influence because they are the best at stepping up to colleagues, co-workers, or even their bosses, and holding them accountable.

What does the term confrontation mean? To confront means to hold someone accountable for disappointing you, face-to-face. It doesn’t have to be abrasive. When handled correctly, both parties are candid and respectful and talk openly and honestly. As a result, problems are resolved and relationships benefit.

Confrontations succeed or fail because of the words chosen, and the way they are delivered. Before confronting someone, make sure that you are confronting the right problem. The question of what you should discuss is the most important issue in a confrontation.

People are often in too much of a hurry to do this. Their emotions propel them to move quickly, and speed rarely leads to careful thought. While sorting through the issues, decide what’s bothering you the most.

The only person you can really change is yourself. Before you approach a confrontation, realize the only one you control is yourself. You can’t expect to “change everyone else” or expect perfect results.

In Crucial Confrontations authors Patterson, Grenny, McMillan, and Switzler concluded that the ability to hold others accountable lies at the very center of a person’s ability to exert influence. Is it worth it? The authors said: “When an IT group improved confrontation skills by 22 percent, the group’s quality improved 30 percent, productivity climbed almost 40 percent and costs plummeted 50 percent.”

The first time a problem occurs, talk about the content, or what just happened. The next time the problem occurs, talk about the pattern, what has been happening over time. If the problem continues, talk about the relationship. The issue is that the string of disappointments has caused you to lose trust in them.

Remember to be concise and distill the issue to a single sentence. Lengthy descriptions only obscure the real issue. If you can control yourself, distill the problem to a simple statement and confront politely, up to 40% productivity improvements are yours to enjoy.

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